Becoming a Fruit-Bearing Christian

Scripture Text:  John 15:1-8
 by Kemi Olubiyi.

There are two types of believers in the body of Christ today, the one that bears fruit and the one that does not. Unless you continually dwell in God's presence and abide in His Son, you will not grow spiritually; it is as simple as that. John 15:1-2 tells us that Jesus is the True Vine, God is the Vine dresser, and we are the branches. A branch with a fruit cannot be detached from the vine or tree it grows on; to grow or bring forth, it has to be attached or connected to that Vine (its source of nutrition), or else it will wither away and die. 

 

 Let us go ahead to define what a Vine is before going further:

 

 A Vine, according to Dictionary.com, is any plant having a long, slender stem that trails or creeps on the ground or climbs by winding itself about a support or holding fast with tendrils or claspers. Unlike most trees or plants that grow steadily independently, a vine requires some help to lean or climb onto to grow well. Sometimes you see them on structures such as buildings, ladders, fences, etc. Examples of such flowering plants are grapes, cucumber, and kiwi fruit. 

 Because of how these plants grow, they must be pruned often, which is the job of the vinedresser or farmer who cultivates and prunes the vines as often as necessary. In this text, I believe the type of Vine Jesus referred to here is the "Grapevine," which was very common during biblical times. We also see how this analogy applies to us, in the sense that Jesus refers to Himself as the True Vine and His Father the Vine dresser, while we are the branches and, of course, the fruit we are to bear are the souls won for the kingdom, our good works, and overall service to the Lord.

Believers are the branches connected to our Lord Jesus Christ and God; the Father is the one who takes care of the Vine to ensure that the link between Christ and us is not faulty or broken for us to mature spiritually and bear fruit. However, we shall be kept from the source if we do our part. God forbid! Jesus puts it simply in verse 2, saying, " Every branch in me that does not bear fruit, He (i.e., God, the Father) will be cut away and every branch that does bear fruit, He prunes so that it can bear more fruit. Beloved, we can not just receive the gift of salvation and live without impacting the world we live in like Jesus did when He was on earth. We need to follow in the footsteps of our most significant role model, our Master, and Savior. Our light has to shine amid the darkness in this world so that men can see our good works and God takes the glory. Matthew 5:16

 Verse 2b tells us that God cleanses and prunes us (the branches), cutting away things that no longer bear the fruit He desires us to show. This cutting away, which is the pruning process is usually quite painful. It could come in the form of challenges or storms in our lives, which, if you are not a mature believer and spiritually discerning, can be misunderstood as something else happening, but it (pruning) is necessary for us to grow into fruit-bearing Christians. For those believers or Christians, who are bearing fruit, He cleanses and often prunes for them to bear richer and excellent fruit. We must understand that our God is progressive, and sometimes He needs to trim us as He takes us to higher heights.

 

 Jesus even further states in verse 5 that if we ( believers) are not abiding in Him, bearing fruit, we can do nothing. i.e., whatever we lay our hands to do, whatever we aspire to achieve in life, it may not prosper; it may only be a temporary achievement, but sooner or later, it will not hold because we are no longer to connect to the Vine, ( The Source). Verse 6 also states that if a person does not dwell in Him, he is thrown out like a {broken-off} branch and withers; such branches are gathered up and thrown into the fire, and they are burned—amplified version. Our goal as believers, once we become born again, is to strive to become useful vessels in the hands of God, vessels that He can use in these last days for His glory to accomplish His work on earth II Tim 2:21. If we are not doing that. He will raise others in our place willing to do His will.  

 

 May the Lord never have cause to give someone else your assignment in Jesus' name.

 

 Our God is such a rewarder of them who genuinely serve or seek Him Hebrews 11:6, For He promises us in verse 7 of our text that when we bear fruit for Him, we should ask whatever we so desire, whatever we wish, and it will be done. This is His promise to every believer who abides in Him and bears fruit, and it also confirms that we are His disciples. Beloved, trust the Lord to keep His promise in your life as long as you do your part.

 

 

 To become a fruit-bearing Christian or believer, I admonish us today to cultivate a regular habit of spending quality time studying & meditating on His word, in praise and worship and prayer. When we do that, we get to know, love, and appreciate Him even more and can receive direction on where He is leading us and our assignment in the body of Christ.

As we do this, His Holy Spirit will give us the grace and ability to bear much fruit in His name, and all the glory shall go to our Father in Heaven.

Shalom..

For You, Daughters of Zion from JESUS WITH LOVE.

" The Positive Approach"

If you want to strengthen your relationship with your husband, take the time to encourage him.  Be a support.  Help him carry his load.  He does need to learn to communicate more and to humble himself and ask for help, but your offering to help will be a start.

Encourage him for his strong points and try to overlook his faults.  If you have trouble recognizing his strengths, ask Me to point them out to you.  This positive approach will get far better results than nagging.  If you're seeking Me and asking Me to help you love him as I do, with My love, I will cause you to see his good points and not to focus on the faults that bother you.

You're a good team, but you'd be an even better team if you spent more time loving Me and each other.  You need to spend time together reading My word and talking about things I show you.  This will draw you closer to each other and help you grow in Me together.


" Through the ups and downs...."

 Every marriage is a work in progress.  Every marriage has its ups and downs, but it is through those ups and downs that marriages are strengthened.

The most important thing is that you're good friends.  Most marriages start in the heat of passion, but over time settle into the routine of day-to-day living.  This is the normal course of events, but it can come as a disappointment

Some people think their marriage is a failure or they've "lost" something just because the initial passion is gone, but that is not necessarily the case.  The problem is often that one or both mates have unrealistic expectations.  It is not wise to compare your marriage to how marriages are portrayed in movies, books or with anyone else's marriage either, for that matter.  
Just as every person created is unique, so is every marriage built.

The "style" of your love and relationship might change over the years, but real love will become even deeper and stronger through the difficulties you overcome together.

The Lord bless and keep your marriages now and always in Jesus name.

Shalom

Intimacy with God, Spending Quality time with Him.

  Heb 4:16, James 4:8a
 by Kemi O.

It is obvious that some people are closer to the Lord than others and its been like that since biblical times e.g Abraham, David, Moses etc.  You begin to wonder why does these ones seem to have a closer relationship with the Lord? or why is that they are hearing from God clearly, what is it that they are doing that I am not?
Is it that God has favorites? Is He a respecter of persons? The answer is No, because the scripture tells us that He is not a respecter of persons Rom 2:11 and we, not God determine our own level of intimacy with Him.  God is not going to force himself on us  but He has freely invited us into His presence  to fearlessly and boldly come unto the throne of grace that we may receive mercy for our failures and find grace to help in good times for every need. Heb 4:16 amplified.  This verse in scripture indicates that each one of us can be as close to God's throne of grace as we choose to be.
 In order to have a closer relationship with the Lord, we have to be willing to spend quality time with Him.   It also depends on how much time you are ready to commit to  pursuing a relationship with Him.  God does not ask for all our time, just a portion of it in which He can spend time guiding and directing us, revealing important things to us, enjoying our praises and worship etc.  I have found out from personal experience that the best time of the day to give to the Lord is early in the morning before my day begins.
I receive strength, guidance, refreshment from above that will carry me through the day and it always feels good.  The day I forget or postpone my quiet time with the Lord, I do not feel good at all, things just seem to be out of balance and I have to ask God for mercy by the end of the day. 

As christian women, especially we, mothers who are constantly busy with not just our careers but household chores, children's activities etc, our goal should be to have proper balance in order to live healty and fulfilling lives.  I know it appears almost impossible to juggle both our time with the Lord, family and career, church activities etc,  but the Lord has designed us ( body, spirit & soul) to accomodate all however, we need to ask Him for the strength to live balanced lives.

 I believe the whole issue of intimacy with God is a matter of how we chose to spend our time.   Look at the story of Mary and Martha, Luke 10:40-42.  Martha chose to spend her time by serving,  being burdened with the cooking, cleaning etc, while her sister, Mary chose to spend her time with Jesus learning more about the kingdom of God.  It is not that Martha's service to the Lord was not acceptable to Him, but at that point in time, it was not a priority to the Lord for He had preferred her to do the same as Mary. 

A lot of times, we argue that there is not just enough time in the day and so therefore it's not easy to commit to spending quality time with the Lord but yet, we take time to do other things that are important to us.  Women, we need to fight distractions that are around us on a  daily basis to protect our time with the Lord.  No matter how busy we get, we should always remember how important our God is, He has to take top priority in our lives for all that we have is from Him  and all that we are is because of Him.  The enemy knows that when we have an intimate relationship with our God, it makes us stronger believers and alert in the spirit and able to discern between good and evil, which makes us dangerous to the kingdom of darkness. As a result, satan tries to do everything in his power to distract us from spending quality time with the Lord.

In order to experience intimacy with God, we must be ready to give up time for Him, quality time.  A commitment to spend time with Him is as serious as any other commitment we could ever make in our lives.  The Lord reveals in Psalm 27:8 that  He is a vital necessity in our lives.   If we say we love the Lord with all our heart, then we should be eager to be in His presence as often as possible.  Matt 22:37

The quality of our lives as women is greatly affected by  the time we spend with God.  As a result of spending time in His presence, we become effective in our prayer lives and more knowledgeable of who He is, fruitful and productive in our homes, careers, ministries, etc.  Sisters, it is time to enjoy an intimate, loving relationship with our God. Draw near to God and He will draw near to you. Jam 4:8a

Let us come boldly into His presence for He is ready to spend as much time with us as we allow Him to and the Lord will help us by His Holy Spirit to achieve this in Jesus name.

Shalom!

Hope for the Lonely Woman

Bible Text: Jeremiah 29:11
by Joyce Meyer.


Many women in today's world are lonely.  Even those who have others around them often say they are lonely.  The death of a spouse or another closed loved one can leave you lonely and confused as well as feeling abandoned.  However, your circumstances don't have to be quite so severe to put you into the category of loneliness. 

Perhaps you have moved to a new neighborhood in a new city, and have begun attending a new church, or have just stated a new job, and you just don't seem to fit in yet.  I know what it's like to be lonely. 

For years the devil convinced me that no one liked me.  I believed that, and I received what I believed.  I did not like myself, and so I believed that no one else could like me either.  Learning to like myself and to pray for favor has changed my life, and it will change yours.  Social  "poverty" is not part of our heritage from the Lord. 

Beware of being passive.  Don't just wait for someone to fall into your life before you are willing to have fellowship.  Find someone who is lonelier than you and be a blessing to them.  Giving always brings joy into your life.  Be friendly and pleasant and you'll attract others who are also friendly and pleasant to be around.

Many women feel that life is more painful than they can bear.  If that is true of you, I encourage you to remember Jesus in the Garden of Gethsemane.  John the Baptist, the closest person to Him, and the only one who really understood His ministry, had been violently murdered.  All of Jesus' friends had disappointed Him.  He had ministered to them for three years, and now He needed them to spend only one final hour with Him, and they hadn't been able to stay awake.

Luke 22:44 records that Jesus was under such intense pressure in His mind that His sweat became like great drops of blood.  I believe as you realize that Jesus does indeed know how you feel and has promised never to leave nor forsake you, that you will be strengthened to press on.

Things are always changing, and the way you feel right now will change with time.  Time has healing properties, and will eventually bring new direction to your life.  I also believe that lonely women can learn to enjoy being alone.

There is a major difference between being lonely and being alone.  There is also a difference in being alone and being bored.  There is no need for you to live a life of boredom.  There are far too many people who need help for anyone to be bored.  You may see yourself as a woman who can meet needs.  As you reach out to others, you will be sowing seed for your own loneliness to be overcome.

God has a good plan for your life.  " For I know the thoughts and plans that I have for you, says the Lord, thoughts and plans for welfare and peace and not for evil, to give you hope in your outcome"  ( Jer 29:11). Be encouraged by thsi scripture.  Also choose to take some God-inspired action now.  This can be a new beginning for you!

The Strange Woman in Your Marriage

Proverbs 7:10, 23:27, 5:3, 6:24,
John 10:10

by  Kemi O.


Now, if you are not familiar with "The Strange Woman" in the book of Proverbs, you may begin to wonder what I mean by the  term "strange'" woman.  The word "strange" in the book of Proverbs means "foreign, alien, adulterous."  However, by scriptural description, the strange woman is a woman separated from God, a foreigner to His righteousness. She is also a destroyer, sent by the enemy to bring destruction to one's marriage once she is allowed in.  Her job just like her master, Satan is to steal, kill and destroy, the adulterous "strange" woman is ready at any time to steal the joy of your home and destroy not only the marriage, but also the "man" himself (his future, ambitions, dreams, happiness).  Proverbs 6:26, 7:5 

Many homes have been destroyed today by the activities of the strange woman, she is subtle and deceptive, telling the man what he wants to hear in order to draw him into her net.  The strange woman uses flattering speech, insincere praises with a wrong intention. Proverbs 2:16.    It is so depressing to see the alarming rate at which Christian homes are being destroyed or broken as a result of these agents of destruction and sometimes the damage done is so severe that the marriage ends up in a bitter divorce.  Over the years, I have witnessed quite a few marriages (Christian homes) broken and a once loving couple hating the sight of one another and what really saddens me even more is to see innocent children caught in the middle of such bitterness and hate. This is one main goal of the enemy to destroy the body of Christ by breaking up the home of a Christian.

Not so long ago, I counseled and prayed with a sister who had just moved to the area with her family and she confided in me concerning the state of her home.  She was in an unhappy marriage, her husband has been unfaithful to her throughout their 7 years of marriage and it had become so unbearable that She was at her wit's end and ready to call it quits.  I wont go into details about the marital issues but the culprits responsible were the strange women whom the husband had allowed into the marriage over the years.  They had tried couple's counseling with their pastor a few times but it never seem to work, he always went back to his habit. I began to ask myself "If I were in this sister's shoes, will i have stayed all these years and tolerated the infidelity? I tell you it will take the mighty hand of God and His grace to keep me in such an unhealthy situation and I believe it is that grace that has kept this sister holding on to God for change and trusting Him for her husband's deliverance all this time.  These are the only few times lately, I see a spouse, mostly the woman, attempting to hang in there as long as she can in order to save her marriage for her sake and that of her children.  Like i  told a close friend of mine some months ago, I will not tell any woman to leave her marriage, it is not my place to do so but I will only advise that if the marriage now gets to the point of physical harm/ abuse and your life and that of the children (if any) are being seriously threatened then no one needs to tell you before you pack your things and leave that situation immediately NOT the marriage, even if its for a little while until he gets the help he needs.  In addition, I will intercede on behalf of the sister and trust God to intervene and bring healing and peace into the home.


 Another case I witnessed years ago was that of a  sister (who was also the daughter of a well-known Pastor in the community). She and I were attending the same church at the time.  She was a sweet young woman, devoted to the Lord and she had gotten married to a supposed brother in the church, who appeared to be on fire for God.   Several months after a very big and well publicized marriage, the union was already in trouble and less than two years later, it ended up in divorce.  You would think that two young people who met in church and supposedly devoted to the work of God will have a wonderful solid marriage  but thanks to the deceitfulness of the man who allowed himself to be influenced by the strange woman, the marriage was dissolved barely before it could even begin.

Now, I believe with the help of the Holy Spirit, the Spirit of reconciliation, any marriage can be restored.  Sometimes it may take the couple separating for a little (time apart)  while in order to seek help for this restoration and healing to take place.  I have seen it happen and also heard testimonies of women, both Christian and unbelievers alike whose marriages were restored this way.  In some cases, the marriage can not be saved due to either parties unwilling to make it work or they just believe so much damage has been done, its best to go their separate ways. 
 

In addition, prayers of protection over your home, prayers against the activities of the strange woman and agreement prayers between husband and wife can destroy the stronghold of the enemy over one's marriage.   Also, Christian couples should be willing to seek  professional or preferably biblical counseling and have a trusted person that the husband is accountable to.   Healing takes time and so the woman should be aware that it might take  a long time to begin to trust her husband again and feel secured in her marriage. Although, it will take a considerable amount of time, she will eventually get to that place of healing and forgiveness. While the healing process is taking place, she needs to focus on taking care of herself i.e physically and spiritually, and let God handle the rest. He is more than able and He who was there at the beginning will see the marriage through only if she has made up her mind to trust Him and commit her home and marriage into His hands. 

Daughters of Zion, I admonish you today to guard your homes jealously. Be vigilant and alert for the enemy is running around seeking whose marriage or home to destroy next and it will not be yours in Jesus name. Remember, the thief (satan), comes not, but for to steal, to kill, and to destroy: John 10:10.  Be prayerful always, the word of God says "pray without ceasing" ,  cover your homes regularly with the blood of Jesus and overall be the woman, God has called you to be in your home, " A virtuous woman" and the Lord will take care of your home and all that concerns you in Jesus name.

Communication with your Husband: Nine Biblical Principles - Part 2

Scripture Text :  James 3:8-10

By Martha Peace,

the author of " The Excellent Wife", A Biblical Perspective

5.  A WIFE MUST GIVE HER HUSBAND THE BENEFIT OF THE DOUBT WHEN IT COMES TO JUDGING HIS MOTIVES.

    Therefore, do not go on passing judgement before the time, but wait until the Lord comes who will both bring to light the things hidden in the darkness and disclose the motives of men's hearts; and then each man's praise will come to him from God.


    We are not to make judgements about the "motives of men's hearts ( I Corinthians 4:5).  No matter how well you think you know someone else, only God can judge their motives.  It is presumption for one person to believe they know what another person is thinking or why they did what they did.  Sometimes people who pride themselves on their " discernment" are in reality presumptuously judging motives.  Often wives presumptuously judge their husbands and react based on what they think their husband is thinking.

  Perhaps you can think of a time when you overreacted to something your husband said or did and he was consequently baffled by your reaction.  You judged his motives if you said something like " You did that deliberately to upset!" or " You did that to get back at me for what your father did to you when you were a child!" Instead of judging his motive, give him the benefit of the doubt and place his action in the best possible light.  For example, "He did not realize how important that was to me." or "Perhaps he knows something that I do not know about these circumstances." You will have to wait until the Lord comes back and then He will rightly judge your husband's motives.

6.  A WIFE IS MORE LIKELY TO SIN IF HER WORDS ARE RASH.
      There is one who speaks rashly like the thrusts of a sword, but the tongue of the wise brings healing.                                                Proverbs 12:18

 Solomon likened rash speech to being like " ...the thrusts of a sword...."  (Proverbs 12:18).  In other words, rash words deeply wound the person receiving them.  They inflict pain.  They hurt the other person.  If you speak in a way so as to hurt the other person, you may have a desire to be in control.  A controlling person tends to communicate in vengeful ways.  Often your treats and "lashing back" are full of more meanness than the original offense.  Follow the example Peter wrote about of the Lord Jesus Christ who "while being reviled, He did not revile in return; while suffering, He uttered no threats, but kept entrusting Himself to Him who judges righteously..." ( I Peter 2:23).  Our Lord entrusted Himself to God.  He did not fight back with evil.  Peter's point is that even while suffering an emotional battery from your husband, you are to look to the Lord Jesus Christ as your example.  Instead of wounding your husband, use your tongue to bring healing (Proverbs 12:18).



7. A WIFE IS MORE LIKELY TO BE HEARD IF HER SPEECH IS FORBEARING AND SWEET.
      By forbearance a ruler may be persuaded, and a soft tongue breaks the bone.
                                                                                     Proverbs 25:15

     The wise in heart will be called discerning,And sweetness of speech increases persuasiveness.                                                Proverbs 16:21


    Husbands are much more willing to consider their wives requests and even admonitions if they are given sweetly.  This is not fake " sugar-sweetness, " but genuine forbearance ("putting up with") and niceness.  In fact, it is difficult for most husbands not to give in to their wives' requests when there is sweetness of speech.  One word of caution, " sweetness of speech"  is not to be used as a manipulative  ploy for you to have your way, but it is a righteous  way for you to persuade  your husband to give you what you want.  The test of your motive  will be how you respond if you do not get your way.  Indeed, God is glorified by your righteous speech whether you get your way or not!

8.  AN EXCELLENT WIFE IS WISE AND KIND WHEN SHE TALKS TO HER HUSBAND.
       She opens her mouth in wisdom, and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue.  
       
                                                                                           Proverbs 31:26

    A godly wife is wise and kind.  When she opens her mouth to speak, wisdom and kindness flow out .  Her wisdom comes from the word of God and her kindness from the Holy Spirit.  Her words are not rude, terse, harsh, or wounding, they are edifying  and helpful.  If you are to be wise and kind when you speak to your husband, speak your words in a soothing tone.  Proverbs 15:4 says, "a soothing tongue is a tree of life...
    Think about how you would like to be treated.  What if you are wrong?  What if you are sinning?  Do you want kindness or harshness, foolishness or wisdom?  Of course you want him to be kind and wise.  So, treat your husband like you would like to be treated (Matthew 7:12).

   Suppose your husband wanted to make a purchase that you consider to be foolish.   First, think about what you are going to say.  Next, say it in a soothing tone.  For instance, ( speak gently ) " Honey, I know you would like to have a fishing boat.  I would like you to have your boat, but i think it would be wiser to save the money to purchase it instead of borrowing the money from the bank." No matter what the issue is, when you talk to your husband, be wise in your words and kind in your tone.  That is how the Excellent Wife opens her mouth.

9.  A WIFE SHOULD PURIFY HER SPEECH UNTIL IT IS MORE AND MORE FLAWLESS
      The tongue of the righteous is as choice silver. The heart of the wicked is worth little.                                              
                                                                                    Proverbs 10:20

   Silver is rare, precious, treasured commodity.  So is a righteous tongue.  Just as the refiner purifies the silver time and time again to make it choice, a wife should purify your speech by practicing  over and over until you get it right ( 1 Timothy 4:7).  Think through what you should say, then practice it out loud ( alone). Concentrate on saying the words in a "soothing" tone of voice.  You may feel silly at first, but if you want to be godly you must be trained! The value of your godly tongue would truly be like "choice silver, "a precious commodity.

                          Conclusion

How you communicate is a reflection of your commitment to Christ.  Certainly, these are skills that need to be fine tuned.  Ask your husband to hold you accountable for how you speak and your tone of voice.  When you husband points your failures out to you, immediately reconsider how you should have communicated.  Tell him what you should have done and ask his forgiveness.  How important is this? 

An excellent wife, who can find? For her worth is far above jewels.... She opens her mouth in wisdom, And the teaching of kindness is on her tongue.

                                Proverbs 31:10, 26

Communication with your Husband: Nine Biblical Principles - Part 1

Scripture Text: James 3:8-10

By Martha Peace,

the author of " The Excellent Wife", A Biblical Perspective

Have you ever said something and immediately regretted it? All of us understand what James is talking about when he wrote, "But no one can tame the tongue...from the same mouth come both blessing and cursing.  My brethren, these things ought not to be this way" (James 3:8-10).  What we say and how we say it can hurt others.  Words can crush and pierce people.  Some wounds may never heal.  In marriages, husbands and wives have the potential to hurt each other deeply by the words they say.  Often, couples communicate in unbiblical, ungodly ways.  Instead of love and kindness there is strife, anger, and malice.  Instead of wisdom, there is foolishness.  Instead of careful words, there are careless words.  Again let me express what is on my heart for all of us with what James said"  My brethren, these things ought not to be this way" (James 3:10).

An excellent wife, a godly wife must communicate rightly to her husband if she is going to love, respect, and submit to him as God desires.  In order to accomplish this purpose, I decided to address nine biblical principles regarding a wife's communication to her husband. 

1. A WIFE'S WRONG WORDS BEGIN WITH WRONG THOUGHTS AND MOTIVES.

" For out of the heart come evil thoughts,  murders, adulteries, fornication, thefts, false witness, slanders.  These are the things which defile the man; but to eat with unwashed hands does not defile the man.
            Matthew 15: 19-20

" Heart" in Scripture includes a person's thoughts, choices or motives.  Your "heart" is not some emotional part of you that you have no control over.  What you think about is a choice that you make.  The Lord Jesus made the connection clear between what you think and what you speak. "For  the mouth speaks out of that which fills the heart" ( Matthew 12:34). Wrong words do begin with wrong thoughts.  If you are saying wrong words, take the time to realize what you are thinking.  The Lord Jesus' standard of holiness is not just outward conformity but inward transformation by what you think.  Renew your mind with Scripture and change your heart.

You renew your mind with Scripture by meditating on Scripture appropriate to the areas of communication you need to improve.  Biblical meditation includes reading the specific Scripture over and over and thinking of ways that you can personally apply it.  For example, if you tend to be impatient towards your husband and "snap" at him, meditate on 1 Corinthians 13:4. " Love is patient." Think of ways that you could respond patiently given the same or similar circumstance.  For instance, your husband takes a long time to tell you about an incident at work and you wish he could hurry up.  Think "Love is patient.  I can show love to him by patiently listening until he is finished."  Then, express by your words an interest in his story.  If you do, your right words will have begun with right thoughts.

2.  A WIFE IS ACCOUNTABLE TO GOD FOR EVERY WORD SHE SPEAKS
   
     "And I say to you, that every careless word that men shall speak, they shall render account for it in the day of judgement.
                                                              Matthew 12:36-37

God is omniscient.  He knows everything and will not forget anything He desires for us to be holy all the time not just on Sunday mornings.  This is a sobering thought when we consider many "careless" words we probably do speak.  Careless words are "idle, lazy, and useless."  They remind me of the old expression, "Some people talk just to hear themselves talk."  As a Christian you are to take care with your words.  As a wife you are to take extra special care if you are going to demonstrate love, respect, and submission to your husband as God desires.  Realize that God is aware of what you say.  Therefore, you are accountable to Him for your every word.

3.  A WIFE IS TO SPEAK THE TRUTH TO HER HUSBAND, BUT SPEAK IT IN LOVE.
....but speaking the truth in love, we are to grow up in all aspects unto Him, who is the head, even Christ....   Ephesians 4:15

   Speaking the truth is not always easy.  In fact, it may be agonizing.  Sometimes you may have to tell your husband unpleasant truths.  Sometimes it is easier to be deceptive or just avoid issues.  However, in a patient, kind an loving manner, you can tell your husband what he biblically needs to hear.  For instance, imagine that you notice your husband being overly critical of someone else.  it might be more pleasant to just discreetly change the subject, but Jesus said,  "If your brother sins, go and reprove him in private; if he listens to you, you have won your brother" (Matthew 18:15).  If you have been reluctant to tell your husband the truth- speak the truth, but do it in love.

4.  A WIFE MUST "PUT OFF" ANY WRONG SPEECH.
        But now you also, put them all aside: anger, wrath, malice, slander, and abusive speech from  your mouth.   Colossians 3:8


    Wrong speech is clearly defined in Colossians chapter three.  Anger and wrath are varying kinds of anger.  Anger can express itself in extremes from a slight edge in your voice to screaming, cursing, and full blown wrath.  Malice is meanness, desiring ill towards the other person.  Slander is painting another person in a bad light.  Abusive speech refers to " obscene and derogatory speech intended to hurt and wound someone."

   Sometimes a wife is tempted to use angry, abusive, or even malicious words during emotional days just before her menstruation begins.  Even though control is harder during that time, with God all things are possible ( I Corinthians 10:13).  Work extra hard to think about what you are going to say and to say what is right in spite of how you feel.  Any kind of wrong speech is sin.  Begin by confessing to God each and every time you speak in a wrong manner.  End by replacing those wrong words with the truth spoken in love.  Then you will have laid the wrong speech aside. 

By
Martha Peace,
 the author of " The Excellent Wife, A Biblical Perspective