The Strange Woman in Your Marriage

Proverbs 7:10, 23:27, 5:3, 6:24,
John 10:10

by  Kemi O.


Now, if you are not familiar with "The Strange Woman" in the book of Proverbs, you may begin to wonder what I mean by the  term "strange'" woman.  The word "strange" in the book of Proverbs means "foreign, alien, adulterous."  However, by scriptural description, the strange woman is a woman separated from God, a foreigner to His righteousness. She is also a destroyer, sent by the enemy to bring destruction to one's marriage once she is allowed in.  Her job just like her master, Satan is to steal, kill and destroy, the adulterous "strange" woman is ready at any time to steal the joy of your home and destroy not only the marriage, but also the "man" himself (his future, ambitions, dreams, happiness).  Proverbs 6:26, 7:5 

Many homes have been destroyed today by the activities of the strange woman, she is subtle and deceptive, telling the man what he wants to hear in order to draw him into her net.  The strange woman uses flattering speech, insincere praises with a wrong intention. Proverbs 2:16.    It is so depressing to see the alarming rate at which Christian homes are being destroyed or broken as a result of these agents of destruction and sometimes the damage done is so severe that the marriage ends up in a bitter divorce.  Over the years, I have witnessed quite a few marriages (Christian homes) broken and a once loving couple hating the sight of one another and what really saddens me even more is to see innocent children caught in the middle of such bitterness and hate. This is one main goal of the enemy to destroy the body of Christ by breaking up the home of a Christian.

Not so long ago, I counseled and prayed with a sister who had just moved to the area with her family and she confided in me concerning the state of her home.  She was in an unhappy marriage, her husband has been unfaithful to her throughout their 7 years of marriage and it had become so unbearable that She was at her wit's end and ready to call it quits.  I wont go into details about the marital issues but the culprits responsible were the strange women whom the husband had allowed into the marriage over the years.  They had tried couple's counseling with their pastor a few times but it never seem to work, he always went back to his habit. I began to ask myself "If I were in this sister's shoes, will i have stayed all these years and tolerated the infidelity? I tell you it will take the mighty hand of God and His grace to keep me in such an unhealthy situation and I believe it is that grace that has kept this sister holding on to God for change and trusting Him for her husband's deliverance all this time.  These are the only few times lately, I see a spouse, mostly the woman, attempting to hang in there as long as she can in order to save her marriage for her sake and that of her children.  Like i  told a close friend of mine some months ago, I will not tell any woman to leave her marriage, it is not my place to do so but I will only advise that if the marriage now gets to the point of physical harm/ abuse and your life and that of the children (if any) are being seriously threatened then no one needs to tell you before you pack your things and leave that situation immediately NOT the marriage, even if its for a little while until he gets the help he needs.  In addition, I will intercede on behalf of the sister and trust God to intervene and bring healing and peace into the home.


 Another case I witnessed years ago was that of a  sister (who was also the daughter of a well-known Pastor in the community). She and I were attending the same church at the time.  She was a sweet young woman, devoted to the Lord and she had gotten married to a supposed brother in the church, who appeared to be on fire for God.   Several months after a very big and well publicized marriage, the union was already in trouble and less than two years later, it ended up in divorce.  You would think that two young people who met in church and supposedly devoted to the work of God will have a wonderful solid marriage  but thanks to the deceitfulness of the man who allowed himself to be influenced by the strange woman, the marriage was dissolved barely before it could even begin.

Now, I believe with the help of the Holy Spirit, the Spirit of reconciliation, any marriage can be restored.  Sometimes it may take the couple separating for a little (time apart)  while in order to seek help for this restoration and healing to take place.  I have seen it happen and also heard testimonies of women, both Christian and unbelievers alike whose marriages were restored this way.  In some cases, the marriage can not be saved due to either parties unwilling to make it work or they just believe so much damage has been done, its best to go their separate ways. 
 

In addition, prayers of protection over your home, prayers against the activities of the strange woman and agreement prayers between husband and wife can destroy the stronghold of the enemy over one's marriage.   Also, Christian couples should be willing to seek  professional or preferably biblical counseling and have a trusted person that the husband is accountable to.   Healing takes time and so the woman should be aware that it might take  a long time to begin to trust her husband again and feel secured in her marriage. Although, it will take a considerable amount of time, she will eventually get to that place of healing and forgiveness. While the healing process is taking place, she needs to focus on taking care of herself i.e physically and spiritually, and let God handle the rest. He is more than able and He who was there at the beginning will see the marriage through only if she has made up her mind to trust Him and commit her home and marriage into His hands. 

Daughters of Zion, I admonish you today to guard your homes jealously. Be vigilant and alert for the enemy is running around seeking whose marriage or home to destroy next and it will not be yours in Jesus name. Remember, the thief (satan), comes not, but for to steal, to kill, and to destroy: John 10:10.  Be prayerful always, the word of God says "pray without ceasing" ,  cover your homes regularly with the blood of Jesus and overall be the woman, God has called you to be in your home, " A virtuous woman" and the Lord will take care of your home and all that concerns you in Jesus name.

Overcoming the pain of Adultery

Scripture Text:  Proverbs 6:23-33
 by  Kemi O.

It is very depressing and sad when you look around our world today and see so many marriages in turmoil. The most shocking of it all is that, it is very rampant today in the body of Christ i.e the church.

After reading books, watching the news, listening to loved ones and counseling a few, I have come to the conclusion that one of the greatest marriage destroyers of all time is " Adultery". It is not only a sin against God but it is a sin that causes so much emotional pain to the other parties involved (spouse and children).

If you look at the statistics today on the divorce rate, you will see that over 50% of the marriages that end up in divorce is as a result of infidelity/adultery.

By the way, what do we mean by Adultery? Adultery by the dictionary definition is extra marital sex that willfully and maliciously interferes with marital relations. Some people confuse adultery with fornication because they are both transgressions before God. The difference between fornication and adultery is that fornication is the act of having pre-marital sex with another unmarried person so it usually pertains to someone who is single, however adultery pertains to sexual intercourse with someone other than your spouse.

The sin of Adultery is a disastrous reality that has existed and afflicted mankind since the beginning of time. For believers, one of the most well known accounts of adultery recorded in scripture is revealed in the story of King David and his affair with Bathsheba. 2 Sam 11:2-27. Although King David actively pursued Bathsheba, the strange woman in his home, some respected and annointed men of God like King David have fallen victim to the beauty and flattery tongue of the strange woman Prov 6:24-25. And as a result, the annointing of God in their lives was destroyed and sometimes their homes, and in such cases it will take the divine intervention of the Holy Spirit to restore them. There was an incident in the church I was attending a few years ago where a man of God whom I so much respected had been having affairs with the women in the church. He was quite a handsome preacher and 90% of his congregation were women but I just saw the annointing of God on his life and how the Lord was using him mightily. It never occurred to me that such a thing would happen to him and as a result of his succumbing to the flesh, his ministry suffered a terrible blow, marriages were destroyed, for a couple of women he was sleeping with also happen to be married. It was a very unfortunate incident and so brethren, this is a serious issue that needs to be addressed in the church today. We are an adulterous generation.

When adultery taints the purity of the marriage covenant, the road to reconciliation is usually quite difficult especially for the spouse who has been betrayed.

Sadly to say, many christians have skipped the reconciliation process because they find it difficult to forgive their cheating spouses. Decisions of separation and divorce is therefore made in haste out of pain and anger. Can you really blame them? However, we should ask ourselves will this be God’s will for me if I do this? Many have used the famous words of Jesus Christ in Matt 19:9 to justify their decision for divorce but if everyone who has been through the pain of adultery decide to obtain a divorce, how many marriages will truly remain standing? There has to be room for forgiveness. the same scriptures tells us to forgive those who have trespassed against us and also that God hates putting away i.e divorce Mal 2:16. As painful as the betrayal is, an effort at saving the marriage should be made especially a christian union that has been ordained and blessed with children. God’s thoughts towards us are good and not of evil to give us an expected end ( future). Divorce was never in God’s plan for man and therefore it is evil, it is the work and plan of the enemy to destroy marriages especially christian marriages. His only job is to kill, to steal and to destroy, John 10:10.

It pleases the Lord to see the Man and the Woman reconcile because it also causes them to be reconciled back to God as a family. He assures us that he will be with us always even in times of trouble.

Having said all this, we know that rebuilding a relationship is definitely not an easy task for it will take both time and effort on both sides to make it happen. Above all, it will take the grace of God to bring harmony back into the home again.

The first step to rebuilding the marriage is for the adulterer to be willing to repent. he/she must genuinely confess their sins and repent.

The betrayed spouse(victim) must be willing to forgive in order for the healing process to begin.

Couple should seek biblical counseling immediately for it helps both parties to understand why it happened and how to avoid it from happening again.

In addition to counseling, the couple should spend time in prayer seeking God’s face and asking for his grace and power to get them through the tough times.

- The adulterous spouse should be accountable to someone in order for that trust to be rebuilt. Mostly likely he needs to be accountable to his spouse, pastor or counselor.

Based on my own experience of a failed relationship, I would also say that in addition to seeking counseling, talking to a close friend or loved one also helps the healing process.