Trusting the Lord For Your Own godly Husband

Scripture Text : Genesis 2:18-25

by Kemi O.


     Often times, we are in a hurry to settle down, get married and then eventually end up marrying the wrong person.   We seem to have a number of reasons why we must find a suitable partner right away; over and over again, I have always heard these excuses; My biological clock is ticking, I am getting older,  for those of us who come from places like Nigeria, in West Africa,  there is immense pressure from parents and in laws to give them grand children, .... and the list goes on. We care a lot about what others say or think concerning our marital status, that we make hasty decisions that could lead eventually to pain and heartache, forgetting  the One who is in control of our lives, the One, who instituted marriage to begin with.   Beloved, just for clarification, each time I say "We",  I am referring mostly to my fellow Christian Women and not unbelievers.   A lot of times, believers, both men and women alike fail to seek the Lord regarding what His thoughts are concerning their life partners, they go ahead of Him out of desperation and it ends up costly them terribly.  

   Many single christian women today are looking unto the Lord for their own husbands yet they are not ready to wait upon Him.  They say a "5 minute" prayer and immediately expect their husbands to show up.  It does not work like that , anything good, anything of quality and anything of value will require preparation, you need to give God time to prepare you for that godly husband and also time for God to prepare him for you.   In Genesis 2, we can see here that when the Lord was ready to create or get a wife for Adam, He caused a deep sleep to fall upon him, we do not know how long it took but we do know the Lord carefully and wonderfully made Eve for Adam and presented her to him as his bride and life partner.  This was Adam's time of preparation and the Lord ensured that Adam did not interfere in the process of preparation.   We can also see that the Marriage was truly ordained by God for He made the union fruitful with children, they labored/toiled together, rejoiced and grieved together and were each other's companion to the end of their lives.

Any marriage not  designed by the Lord will find it difficult to stand at the end of the day.  If the foundation is faulty, eventually, that marriage will crumble and fall.   It does not matter if you are both believers, if you are not prepared spiritually, physically and mentally and most especially, if the Lord has not ordained the union to be, there will be problem in that home.   I remember some years ago,  the case of a sister, whom i knew quite well for she and her fiancé at  the time were both members of the same local assembly for a long time and after much influence from their parents and friends, they decided to start courting which eventually led to their getting married months later.  Unfortunately, barely one year into the marriage, the union began to crumble due to infidelity and physical abuse on the brother's  part and eventually the couple ended up getting divorced.  People were shocked, they remembered how elegant  the wedding ceremony was and how happy the couple seemed but unknown to them, the foundation was already shaky from the beginning.  Why, because no one ( including their parents)  sought the Lord on the matter, they by passed the Lord and trusted that they were doing the right thing since they were supposedly both believers and workers in the church.   Years later, the sister decided to open up to me and confessed that she was not completely in agreement of the union and that she was coerced into the marriage by her parents who were ministers of the church she attended.   Her heart belong to another brother, not of the same local assembly whom she believed God had ordained as her husband and had revealed to the both of them, but her parents were completely against the relationship because He was supposedly not their "type" for her.   They did everything in their power to tear them apart and succeeded.  How sad!  At times, even loved ones, especially parents can be a hindrance to God's divine plan for their children.

Now, let us look at some of the reasons why christian women rush into marriages that lead them to living unhappy lives:

1).  My Biological Clock is ticking:   This is probably  the most common excuse  women have marrying the wrong person.   Due to the fear of getting older and a decrease in potential suitors knocking on the door anymore, we tend to do whatever it takes to settle down and find a husband.  Some sisters have been so desperate for a husband that they even become a mistress  to a married man and allow the enemy to deceive them into believing that the man will leave his wife for her.  It is ungodly and immoral and yet, you find some sisters engaging in such acts.  Others even allow themselves to get carried away with the first man that pays them attention in months and claim he is a believer and the sister will now believe that it was her prayers that brought this "so called" brother to her only to realize that it was a big "lie" from the enemy, but unfortunately the damage has already been done.   There was the case of a single sister, who was faithful and commitment to the things of God.  She was a leader in her local church, God was really using her in the area of  Intercession  and she was also trusting the Lord for her own husband.  This sister was somewhere in her mid to late 30s'  and so she was very conscious of her marital status, always prayed concerning it, seeking counsel from her pastor and was also getting a lot of pressure from family members.   Some months later, she was formally introduced to a man, who claimed to be a believer and was now testifying about how God had blessed him materially and is currently looking to settle down in marriage at that point in his life.  The man began to show interest in the sister who initially rejected his advances and sought advise from her pastor who encouraged her to continue to pray and seek the Lord's will.  The pastor later told her that He doesn't believe this was her husband because God had revealed someone else to him as her husband and told the sister to be cautious of the "smooth talking brother".   The sister ignored the Pastor's advise and trusted her own intuition that this was the Lord's doing and she went ahead and accepted his marriage proposal.  She married him and was living comfortably, but over the course of the marriage, she knew no happiness, no peace, her prayer life  became non-existent, she hardly went to church anymore because the man started preventing her from going to church, she was unable to have any children for him and at the end of the day, she found out that his "so called" success was from selling and distributing illegal drugs .   What happened to this sister? She was desperate and instead of listening to the voice of the Lord and allowing Him to take control, she decided to tune God's voice out and follow her own way and it ended up bringing her deep pain and heartache.

2).  My friends and age mates are all married:  Sisters, do not model your life after the lives of your friends, that sister in the church, anyone at all,  or else you will end up getting disappointed.  Many at times, I have seen women, who rushed into marriage because they didn't want to be left out especially if they are in the same social network or status with their friends or mates.  When we hear stories of old school mates that are married with  3, 4 or 5 children living in beautiful homes, a wave of envy tends to set in leading a woman into taking  drastic actions that will eventually cost her.   I used to know a sister who was in her late 20s' at the time, who accepted a marriage proposal from a guy whom she met only after 2 weeks of dating him and although he appeared to be a nice person and he was actually good to her, the marriage eventually ended up in divorce a couple of years later.  After asking her later, what happened, she said, "oh we just were not compatible, he didn't like the things I was interested in " To her, he was too boring, only because he enjoyed staying home with his wife and not always at one social engagement or the other.  What was the use of getting married? at the of end of the day, she married  for the wrong reasons, to please others and to show everyone that she can also find a husband.  
 
3).  My parents and/or In-laws want grand children:   Many of us women are or have been victims of this type of pressure especially if you are from Africa or you marry a man from there.  According to the African culture,  once a woman enters into her matrimonial home/her husband's house, the project to start working on is making babies.   Forget honeymoon stage especially if you are "not so young" anymore i.e you got married in your 30s and up.   Out of desperation to give the folks grand babies, we try to please them by marrying whomever is available.   Beloved, there is nothing wrong with having children, after all,  the word of God says that " Children are a heritage from the Lord  and the fruit of the womb is His reward  Psalm 127:3, but let that decision be made in a union ordained by the Lord among the 3 people involved i.e  God,  the Man and the Wife.   It is the Lord, God who gives children and He does so at His own appointed time for the couple.  As much as we want to please our family, especially parents, we need to trust the Lord for our marriage, happiness and the perfect timing for us.



4). Many women, surprisingly even some Christian women marry men based on what they can get from them;  there is no love in such unions at least on the part of the women and God is not at the head of such homes.  Some of these reasons are for :

i).   Money/Material Wealth
ii).  Business purposes e.g (for Green card, permanent residency)
iii). Power, Influence
iv). Children (not interested in marriage, just looking for a "sperm donor")
v).  Family Obligation purposes ( this is where some arranged marriages situations come in).

Beloved, I just want to emphasize the importance of trusting the Lord for your own husband, do not let anyone chose him for you but allow God to do the choosing for He alone knows what is best for you. The man that God has ordained to be your husband is one the Lord has specifically chosen as the bone of your bones to fulfill His divine will for your life and you need to be in the right union, partnership for God's purpose to be fulfilled.  Regardless of what part of the world you may be residing, the Lord will organize your coming together, (meeting) at His appointed time for you.  He has been in the business of marriages since the beginning, whereby  He instituted and solemnized the first marriage and will continue to do so until our Lord & Saviour Jesus Christ returns for His church.

In conclusion, I just want to encourage you today to forget about the mistakes made in the past or past disappointments/hurts and trust the Lord for your own godly husband today.  I know some of us have been through painful divorces and break ups in the past, but Sisters, I want you to know that today, you can start afresh with the Lord seeking His divine will for your life partner.  Spend quality time in prayer, fasting (if possible), praise and worship with the Lord and be like "Jacob"  who said in Genesis 32:26 " I will not let you go unless you bless me."  Beloved,  hold on to the Lord, your God today, He is the author and finisher of your faith and shall grant your heart's desire, perfecting all that concerns you.

Be Encouraged!!!!

Walking the path of godly success

Scripture Text: Psalm 1:1-3
by Kemi O.

What is godly success to you?

Success according to the world's view is the favorable & prosperous termination of attempts or endeavours. It is the attainment of wealth, position, honor, prestige etc.
Now unless our success is according to God's plan for our lives, it cannot be true success. The Bible is full of wise counsel, which when we put into practice, could lead to divine success in our lives. We need to search ourselves and figure out what is our primary desire? Is it to achieve earthly prosperity or to follow the Lord and do His will? When we are devoted to the Lord and walking obediently with Him regardless of the consequences, we can be successful not only in the eyes of God but also the world.
after all, the word of God even confirms in 3 John 2 that " Beloved, I wish above all things that thou mayest prosper and be in health, even as thy soul prospereth. KJV. This is what He so desires for His children, to prosper in our health, finances etc, to be successful in every area of life as we follow Him obediently.
Psalm 1 offers a description of how to walk the narrow path of godly success and how do we do this? by following certain biblical principles regularly and of course with the help of the Holy Spirit. The first verse deals with relationships and how to avoid three practices if we want to please God.


i. Do not walk in the counsel of the wicked. We will never be truly successful if we seek direction from those who do not know the Lord. This applies to every area of our lives; Education, finances, marriages, careers , ministry, relationships etc. Someone's impressive qualifications or extensive experience is no guarantee that his or her advice is godly.
We should even be cautious about accepting guidance from other Christians because not all believers are spiritually mature and wise. Having said this, I wont rule out the fact some people in our lives, who are unbelievers may offer one or two advice that seems to make sense or is credible but the bottom life is as a believer, before putting anyone's advice or counsel into action, prayerfully compare them to what the Bible or Scripture says. Allow the Holy Spirit to lead you and if there appears to be any contradiction, or your spirit doesn't seem to be in agreement with the advice, do not use it because it will not lead you to where God wants to take you.

ii. Do not stand in the path of sinners
There is no way we can avoid living or working with those on the wrong path or living in sin, but we do have to learn to live a godly life amongst them by not allowing ourselves to be peer pressured into doing things or going places where we know Jesus, Himself will not go or where we feel convicted in our spirits. Wherever we are, we must stand out in the crowd, The world has its own set of rules for achieving success, but believers are called to a higher standard. Sisters, do not be afraid to stand alone on God's path because a time may come where we will have to. Never compromise for we're called to be the light in the midst of the darkness of this world. God places us among unbelievers so they can see the Savior in us - See Matthew 5:14-16. If He wants to promote you in your workplace, He will do it in His way and time.

iii. Do not sit in the seat of scoffers/of the scornfulWho are the scoffers?
 I know that's not a common everyday word. According to the dictionary, scoffers are mockers, those who make jest, ridicule and the word of God reveals that in the last days, there will be a lot of them out there in the world seeking after their own ungodly desires and mocking God and His Church. See II Peter 3:3-9.
They attack with foul language or belittle with intellectual babbles. We don't need to go far to find such people, just turn on your television, radio, go online, they are all there. Unfortunately, many of us, believers watch such shows/programs on TV or listen to their so called intellectual talks, philosophies and down play it to "oh its just entertainment or news, they are just actors playing a role" but a lot of innocent and ignorant people do not see it that way and actually end up emulating what they see or hear. Believers should never get too comfortable with them, hearing such foul language or mocking should immediately stir up something in our spirit that will cause us to avoid such programs and people on contact. Although we're called to be Christ's witnesses to a lost world, it will really be wise to draw lines of protection in our associations so that we're not negatively influenced or led astray.

　
Psalm 1:1 deals with the negatives- what not to do but verse 2 tells us what positive practices to incorporate into our lives so that we can truly be successful.

Let's also look at these practices:

i. Delight in the law of the Lord
A person who delights in God's word doesn't have to be told to read it, because she longs for it. The Bible contains amazing riches for those who are willing to open it and let divine truth penetrate their hearts. Scripture reveals who God is, it renews the mind, increases our faith, and satisfies our soul just like good food satisfies our body. But if we neglect it, we're going to live like spiritual beggars- always hungry, but never satisfied and another danger of neglect is accepting whatever is preached to us in church or any fellowship we attend because we lack insight, understanding of God's word. Even Scripture tells us in Matt 24:24, that in the last days His chosen, the very elect will be deceived in these last days due to the teachings of False Teachers & Prophets.

ii. Meditate on God's Word day and Night.
  Joshua 1:8  ^"Study this Book of Instruction continually. Meditate on it day and night so you will be sure to obey everything written in it. Only then will you prosper and succeed in all you do." NLT.
" Here we see how God played an essential role in Joshua's life. He was a successful man.

What does meditating on  God's word mean to us?
It means allowing or letting Scripture soak into our souls and change our lives. It's a change that will begin on the inside and begin to manifest outwardly. It's a process where we take our time (no hurry) to think deeply about what a particular passage or verse is saying to you. You're not looking for information but for personal application. It's interactive because while you 're reading and thinking about the verses, you're also talking with the Lord and asking Him questions.
Let's be sincere with ourselves, when last did we really meditate on the word of God, actually study scripture and pondered on it without being conscious of time. I have to confess, I am guilty of being in a hurry a lot of times. I want to either quickly get to the prayer part of the devotion...to ask Him for something I need or someone else needs and then sometimes, I really enjoy the passage/text and do take my time to ponder on it and by the time I am done with devotion, I have gone beyond my usual time period. the bottom line is I know when I rushed through it and I know when I really took my time.
The key to meditating on Scripture is perseverance and patience. If you want to have a truly successful life, you must make this practice a regular part of your routine. It doesn't have to be just at your daily morning or evening devotion time, it could be any other extra time in the day that you decide to set apart for God. A time when you know that you can really dedicate to just studying and meditating on Scripture. Doing this regularly will ignite or re-ignite a desire for the Word and bring about the transformation the Lord wants to accomplish in your life.
Now, if we will faithfully guard our relationships and make the Word of God a priority, we can expect some amazing results. Psalm 1:3 paints a lovely picture of what life is like when a person has chosen the Lord's pathway to success.

Let's take a look at these rewards of godly success
i. Firmly established: verse 3 starts by saying" They are like trees planted along the riverbank". NLT Whenever we follow God's principles we'll have incredible stability no matter what life throws at us. Though the storms may come, we will not be shaken because our roots are tapped, connected deep into the eternal stream of Christ's life flowing through us. The bible says a peace which is beyond all human understanding is our portion and will guard our hearts and minds. Phil 4:7

ii. Abundantly fruitful:They are like trees planted along the riverbank, bearing fruit each season. Their leaves never wither." NLT.   Genuine success isn't measured by things, but by fruit. Christ told His disciples that the only way they could bear fruit was to abide in Him (John 15:4). All our accomplishments will amount to nothing if we don't let Christ live His life through us. When His indwelling Spirit is actively transforming our character and equipping us to accomplish whatever He's called us to do, we'll be like trees that produce a continuous harvest.

iii. Genuinely prosperous:"and they prosper in all they do". Material wealth, prestige, fame are all ok, there is nothing wrong with it, I personally look forward to being a millionaire one day, paying off my student loans, credit cards etc and still having much left over to live comfortably, but from God's perspective, true signs of success has to do with following God's will and glorifying Him in all things including with the financial blessings He has given us, divine health, if you look around us, there are a lot of very sick people, some of you in the medical field are very much aware of this. Some of these people are very rich, material wise & influential but are unable to enjoy their riches.  Therefore, good health, excellent health is prosperity in God's eyes. 3 John 2


My dear sisters, the Lord will enable you to become truly successful if you permit Him. But we must remember that there are two different kinds of prosperity; spiritual and material. God's priority is always the spiritual because it is eternal and He wants it to be our priority too. His word says " seek ye first the kingdom of God and all its righteousness and every other thing shall be added to you Matt 6:33 i.e whatever earthly treasure He so desires to bless us, He will, as long as we put Him first and so I ask which kind of success are you pursuing today? You are on the right track if your love for the Lord and His Word are increasing, your character is becoming more like Jesus and your goal in life is to walk in God's will. Wherever you are on this christian journey, whether at the beginning, or somewhere in the middle, keep your eyes continually fixed on the Lord for He will lead you to completing your race successfully.


　
　

Happy Father's Day.

Beloved Sisters, as we join our Husbands, Dads, Brothers, Sons, Friends to celebrate Father's day, let us first of all give honor to our Heavenly Father, our Eternal God and King for who He is, appreciating Him for being our Father and our everything, each and every day of our lives. Let us thank Him for our Husbands, the spiritual leaders of our homes and the father of our Children and also for the other Men in our lives.




May the good Lord continue to strengthen and empower them to be godly fathers and be whom God has called them to be in Jesus name.