Your Marriage Is Your Primary Ministry

"that they admonish the young women to love their husbands, to love their children, ⁵ to be discreet, chaste, homemakers, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be blasphemed."   Titus 2:4-5 NKJV

Recently, I had watched a christian movie recommended by a very close friend and dear sister, and it ministered to me. I felt the Lord was trying to get me to understand something about ministry and patience and preparation.  For the most of this year, I have been going through a time of training and development for the assignment God has for me, and by His leading, I have taken some bold steps to prepare me for the Assignment.   So today my beloved sisters, I would like to share what the Lord has been ministering to me concerning Marriage and the home.  

As a wife and mother, I have strived to build my home, allowing the Lord to guide and counsel me along the way,  I have shared teachings centered around godly women taking care of their home, praying for their husbands, etc.  But it is only in recent times that I have come to know and understand how important the Christian home is to God,  to the body of Christ as a whole and the role it plays in our ministry to the Lord.   Over the years I have seen how many Christian homes had crumbled not because of adultery or money issues, but because many godly women with good intentions have neglected their responsibilities at home to do church.  What I mean by "doing church" is engaging in many activities in the local assembly that takes them away from their service at home.   The word of God reminded me in Proverbs 14:1 that we as women, it specifically says "wise" woman are the ones who build our homes.  The building and managing of our Christian homes which is an extension of the church, the body of Christ has been given to women by God as our number 1 assignment.  Yes, your marriage and home is your first and primary ministry unto God.  Your marriages and the way you hold them are a reflection of the way Christ loves His Church.  

Sisters,  the Lord God is not a God of confusion, He created marriage for a purpose and for that purpose to be fulfilled both the man and the woman have to play their role in the home and the family. The christian home is an extension of the church, so it is important your humble service to the Lord begins from there.  Even the world believes it, by this popular saying "Charity begins at home."
Like many of you, I have a calling upon my life, and I have waited on the Lord for years to release me to do the work.  I have received prophetic messages, word of knowledge, dream interpretations, open visions, etc. regarding my purpose and the assignment He has for me, and a lot of it involves me traveling around the world,  the mission fields teaching, counseling and doing outreach.   Sometimes I have found myself becoming impatient, asking God when will this great ministry take off because I have just been doing ministry part-time for years.  After all, He has spoken and all that keeps being revealed to me especially in recent months is to be patient,  I am still being prepared for the work ahead. One of the last prophetic messages given to me by a Man of God was that the Lord is taking me through a preparation process, I need to perceive how He is leading me.   And so when I watched that Christian movie the other day, my attitude towards my marriage and home changed.   I knew I could do better once I understood it to be my primary assignment.  

The movie showed two different scenarios,  both women loved the Lord and desired to do His work.  They were married with children and had a calling upon their lives, one sought God's leading and husband's permission, and the other did not.  She went ahead, and at the end of the day, there were consequences for the latter, but the former who followed the Lord's leading and guidance and listened to her husband, at the end of the day, everything fell into place for her.  Directed by the Holy Spirit, she faced the affairs of her home, her primary ministry and eventually, opportunities opened up to her for outside ministry work.  What a great lesson learned!!

Sisters, your primary ministry is your  loving and humble service to your husbands and children ,  keepers of the home, women of excellence who are caring, protective and supportive to your husbands and the children  God has entrusted in your hands,  godly women who  teaches her children the word of God, nurturing them and disciplining them with wisdom and care.  In Proverbs 31: 21-22, we are referred to as homemakers and also in our main text,  and are encouraged to be homemakers.   It states   "She fears not the snow for her family, for all her household are doubly clothed in scarlet.  "She makes for herself coverlets, cushions, and rugs of tapestry. Her clothing is of linen, pure and fine, and of purple [such as that of which the clothing of the priests and the hallowed cloths of the temple were made]."      In this ministry, your job is to create an atmosphere of the warmth of love for both your family and guests alike.  Even in times of difficulties,  you must be prepared and ready to embrace what comes next in  your life and that of your household; it is in those times that you will begin to develop the skills  (e.g., resilience, endurance, perseverance, etc.) that the Lord wants you to have as you also prepare for your outside assignments.   Beloved, the Lord has equipped women with the talents and spiritual gifts needed to establish and make fruitful your ministries, and your homes can be considered as a training ground to prepare you for the secondary ministry/assignment outside the home.  There is a time and a season for everything and the Lord who gave you the passion, the will and the strong desire along with the gifts to serve Him will reveal to you when the time is ripe to step out into other assignments and ministry work He has called you.  

 Beloved, as married women, the home is your primary ministry, the success in your home will determine your promotion in the mission field.  It is essential to understand your marriage and home as a ministry unto the Lord, handing it over to Him to help grow under His nurturing hand. He desires to bless the works of your hands, and your marriage is no exception.  Even though the Lord knows building a home in this fallen world can be quite challenging, as long as you are dedicated to keeping your homes, raising godly children and including God in every aspect of it, He will give surely give you good success.  Joshua 1:8b ESV. 

If you are reading this message today and you have neglected your ministry to your husband and children or husband, if no children yet, then it is time to repent and ask the Lord, your husband and your children for forgiveness.  Seek the Lord for guidance and wisdom in taking care of your home and also being able to balance your work life, responsibilities in your local church and your home life.   Your home must always come first in your service to the Lord.  If you hold a position of leadership in the church, in your workplace that requires being away from home for more than 8 hours a day, it is time to make a change, and the Lord shall help you do that in Jesus name.

I will leave you with the words from a Christian actor & minister   " A married woman must humble herself and take care of her home. She must build her home before she can build the church of God and the nation."

I pray this message has ministered to you!!  If it has, please share with your fellow sisters and friends.

Trusting the Lord For Your Own godly Husband

Scripture Text : Genesis 2:18-25

by Kemi O.


     Often times, we are in a hurry to settle down, get married and then eventually end up marrying the wrong person.   We seem to have a number of reasons why we must find a suitable partner right away; over and over again, I have always heard these excuses; My biological clock is ticking, I am getting older,  for those of us who come from places like Nigeria, in West Africa,  there is immense pressure from parents and in laws to give them grand children, .... and the list goes on. We care a lot about what others say or think concerning our marital status, that we make hasty decisions that could lead eventually to pain and heartache, forgetting  the One who is in control of our lives, the One, who instituted marriage to begin with.   Beloved, just for clarification, each time I say "We",  I am referring mostly to my fellow Christian Women and not unbelievers.   A lot of times, believers, both men and women alike fail to seek the Lord regarding what His thoughts are concerning their life partners, they go ahead of Him out of desperation and it ends up costly them terribly.  

   Many single christian women today are looking unto the Lord for their own husbands yet they are not ready to wait upon Him.  They say a "5 minute" prayer and immediately expect their husbands to show up.  It does not work like that , anything good, anything of quality and anything of value will require preparation, you need to give God time to prepare you for that godly husband and also time for God to prepare him for you.   In Genesis 2, we can see here that when the Lord was ready to create or get a wife for Adam, He caused a deep sleep to fall upon him, we do not know how long it took but we do know the Lord carefully and wonderfully made Eve for Adam and presented her to him as his bride and life partner.  This was Adam's time of preparation and the Lord ensured that Adam did not interfere in the process of preparation.   We can also see that the Marriage was truly ordained by God for He made the union fruitful with children, they labored/toiled together, rejoiced and grieved together and were each other's companion to the end of their lives.

Any marriage not  designed by the Lord will find it difficult to stand at the end of the day.  If the foundation is faulty, eventually, that marriage will crumble and fall.   It does not matter if you are both believers, if you are not prepared spiritually, physically and mentally and most especially, if the Lord has not ordained the union to be, there will be problem in that home.   I remember some years ago,  the case of a sister, whom i knew quite well for she and her fiancé at  the time were both members of the same local assembly for a long time and after much influence from their parents and friends, they decided to start courting which eventually led to their getting married months later.  Unfortunately, barely one year into the marriage, the union began to crumble due to infidelity and physical abuse on the brother's  part and eventually the couple ended up getting divorced.  People were shocked, they remembered how elegant  the wedding ceremony was and how happy the couple seemed but unknown to them, the foundation was already shaky from the beginning.  Why, because no one ( including their parents)  sought the Lord on the matter, they by passed the Lord and trusted that they were doing the right thing since they were supposedly both believers and workers in the church.   Years later, the sister decided to open up to me and confessed that she was not completely in agreement of the union and that she was coerced into the marriage by her parents who were ministers of the church she attended.   Her heart belong to another brother, not of the same local assembly whom she believed God had ordained as her husband and had revealed to the both of them, but her parents were completely against the relationship because He was supposedly not their "type" for her.   They did everything in their power to tear them apart and succeeded.  How sad!  At times, even loved ones, especially parents can be a hindrance to God's divine plan for their children.

Now, let us look at some of the reasons why christian women rush into marriages that lead them to living unhappy lives:

1).  My Biological Clock is ticking:   This is probably  the most common excuse  women have marrying the wrong person.   Due to the fear of getting older and a decrease in potential suitors knocking on the door anymore, we tend to do whatever it takes to settle down and find a husband.  Some sisters have been so desperate for a husband that they even become a mistress  to a married man and allow the enemy to deceive them into believing that the man will leave his wife for her.  It is ungodly and immoral and yet, you find some sisters engaging in such acts.  Others even allow themselves to get carried away with the first man that pays them attention in months and claim he is a believer and the sister will now believe that it was her prayers that brought this "so called" brother to her only to realize that it was a big "lie" from the enemy, but unfortunately the damage has already been done.   There was the case of a single sister, who was faithful and commitment to the things of God.  She was a leader in her local church, God was really using her in the area of  Intercession  and she was also trusting the Lord for her own husband.  This sister was somewhere in her mid to late 30s'  and so she was very conscious of her marital status, always prayed concerning it, seeking counsel from her pastor and was also getting a lot of pressure from family members.   Some months later, she was formally introduced to a man, who claimed to be a believer and was now testifying about how God had blessed him materially and is currently looking to settle down in marriage at that point in his life.  The man began to show interest in the sister who initially rejected his advances and sought advise from her pastor who encouraged her to continue to pray and seek the Lord's will.  The pastor later told her that He doesn't believe this was her husband because God had revealed someone else to him as her husband and told the sister to be cautious of the "smooth talking brother".   The sister ignored the Pastor's advise and trusted her own intuition that this was the Lord's doing and she went ahead and accepted his marriage proposal.  She married him and was living comfortably, but over the course of the marriage, she knew no happiness, no peace, her prayer life  became non-existent, she hardly went to church anymore because the man started preventing her from going to church, she was unable to have any children for him and at the end of the day, she found out that his "so called" success was from selling and distributing illegal drugs .   What happened to this sister? She was desperate and instead of listening to the voice of the Lord and allowing Him to take control, she decided to tune God's voice out and follow her own way and it ended up bringing her deep pain and heartache.

2).  My friends and age mates are all married:  Sisters, do not model your life after the lives of your friends, that sister in the church, anyone at all,  or else you will end up getting disappointed.  Many at times, I have seen women, who rushed into marriage because they didn't want to be left out especially if they are in the same social network or status with their friends or mates.  When we hear stories of old school mates that are married with  3, 4 or 5 children living in beautiful homes, a wave of envy tends to set in leading a woman into taking  drastic actions that will eventually cost her.   I used to know a sister who was in her late 20s' at the time, who accepted a marriage proposal from a guy whom she met only after 2 weeks of dating him and although he appeared to be a nice person and he was actually good to her, the marriage eventually ended up in divorce a couple of years later.  After asking her later, what happened, she said, "oh we just were not compatible, he didn't like the things I was interested in " To her, he was too boring, only because he enjoyed staying home with his wife and not always at one social engagement or the other.  What was the use of getting married? at the of end of the day, she married  for the wrong reasons, to please others and to show everyone that she can also find a husband.  
 
3).  My parents and/or In-laws want grand children:   Many of us women are or have been victims of this type of pressure especially if you are from Africa or you marry a man from there.  According to the African culture,  once a woman enters into her matrimonial home/her husband's house, the project to start working on is making babies.   Forget honeymoon stage especially if you are "not so young" anymore i.e you got married in your 30s and up.   Out of desperation to give the folks grand babies, we try to please them by marrying whomever is available.   Beloved, there is nothing wrong with having children, after all,  the word of God says that " Children are a heritage from the Lord  and the fruit of the womb is His reward  Psalm 127:3, but let that decision be made in a union ordained by the Lord among the 3 people involved i.e  God,  the Man and the Wife.   It is the Lord, God who gives children and He does so at His own appointed time for the couple.  As much as we want to please our family, especially parents, we need to trust the Lord for our marriage, happiness and the perfect timing for us.



4). Many women, surprisingly even some Christian women marry men based on what they can get from them;  there is no love in such unions at least on the part of the women and God is not at the head of such homes.  Some of these reasons are for :

i).   Money/Material Wealth
ii).  Business purposes e.g (for Green card, permanent residency)
iii). Power, Influence
iv). Children (not interested in marriage, just looking for a "sperm donor")
v).  Family Obligation purposes ( this is where some arranged marriages situations come in).

Beloved, I just want to emphasize the importance of trusting the Lord for your own husband, do not let anyone chose him for you but allow God to do the choosing for He alone knows what is best for you. The man that God has ordained to be your husband is one the Lord has specifically chosen as the bone of your bones to fulfill His divine will for your life and you need to be in the right union, partnership for God's purpose to be fulfilled.  Regardless of what part of the world you may be residing, the Lord will organize your coming together, (meeting) at His appointed time for you.  He has been in the business of marriages since the beginning, whereby  He instituted and solemnized the first marriage and will continue to do so until our Lord & Saviour Jesus Christ returns for His church.

In conclusion, I just want to encourage you today to forget about the mistakes made in the past or past disappointments/hurts and trust the Lord for your own godly husband today.  I know some of us have been through painful divorces and break ups in the past, but Sisters, I want you to know that today, you can start afresh with the Lord seeking His divine will for your life partner.  Spend quality time in prayer, fasting (if possible), praise and worship with the Lord and be like "Jacob"  who said in Genesis 32:26 " I will not let you go unless you bless me."  Beloved,  hold on to the Lord, your God today, He is the author and finisher of your faith and shall grant your heart's desire, perfecting all that concerns you.

Be Encouraged!!!!

Safeguarding Your Home.

"They shall not build, and another inhabit; they shall not plant, and another eat: for as the days of a tree are the days of my people, and my elect shall long enjoy the work of their hands.
They shall not labour in vain, nor bring forth for trouble; for they are the seed of the blessed of the Lord, and their offspring with them.  Isaiah 65:22-23 KJV



It is sad to see what is happening in a lot of christian homes today and it has moved me so deeply that I decree this today in your lives my dear friends and fellow daughters of Zion. For His words says in  Job 22:28a "You will also decree a thing, and it will be established for you".

This year, you shall be a wise woman that builds her home Proverbs 14:1. You will not build or make your home for another to inhabit in Jesus name.  All your years, months, weeks of  laboring (toiling) for a successful home and marriage shall not be in vain.   Where you have planted, no other woman or women shall eat.  Too many marriages have been destroyed by acts of adultery, lies, financial issues etc  and so it is time for us to take our homes back from the grip of the enemy. 

As the Lord has stated in His word, you will enjoy the works of your hands for several years to come and Your spouses and children shall continually be blessed of the Lord for the rest of your years.

Sisters, hold on to the one who makes all things new and the one who created the institution of marriage and declared it "Good" and it shall be well with you and your home.  As I have decree this in your lives, so shall it be established in Jesus name.  Amen

Whether you have a peaceful home/marriage or you are currently facing challenges in yours , do claim this now and the Lord will fulfil His words in your lives in Jesus name.

God bless you and continue to serve Him with all diligence.   

Becoming One

"Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and shall become united and cleave to his wife, and they shall become one flesh. (Amplified version)  Gen 2:24
By Joyce Meyer


The minute two people marry, they are legally joined together.  Experientally, though, they do not immediately "become one" when they say, "I do"; they simply begin the process of becoming one (Genesis 2:24).  As the process works itself out, each partner should hold marriage in honor and esteem the relationship as worthy and precious.  They should treat each other as being very valuable.

Note in Genesis 2:24 a three-step progression that demonstrates how to become one: (1) Leave. Sometimes a wife clings excessively to her mother and mother's opinions about what  she ought to do, or a husband runs to his father for advice. when the couple should be trusting and leaning on each other.  If two people are married but have not left home (both physically and mentally), they need to do so.  (2) Cleave.  In practical terms, the word cleave means to stick to each other like glue.  (3) Become one. Becoming one means the complete union of body, soul and spirit-and again, this takes time.

If both people in a marriage relationship are born again, then the spiritual union is in place.  The most difficult part of the "becoming one" process is usually the uniting of two souls- the joining of two minds, wills, and sets of emotions.  Most marital problems in the arena of the soul result from strife over lack of communication, sexual misunderstanding, money, goals, and the disciplining of children.  All of these things need to be worked out in the soulish realm of the marriage union, and in order to become one in that area, a husband and a wife need to give their issues to God and say, " Father, change my mind or my will if I'm wrong. " God is the One who will bring them into agreement with His will and purpose.  If each partner is willing to be brought into agreement with the other, they no longer try to force each other to be someone they are not, but realize they need each other to be exactly who God created them to be.  They no longer pick on each other's weaknesses.  Instead, they partake of their strengths, they enjoy one another, and they enjoy the process of becoming one.