Proverbs 14:1 The wise woman builds her house, But the foolish pulls it down with her hands.
by Kemi O.
Among women, this is probably one of the most preached verses in scripture. It is one of those statements in scripture that makes one to think before doing anything that may jeopadize her marriage.
My dear Sisters, we all know that it takes the grace of God for us to maintain our homes. If you look at the world we live in today, the enemy is really waging war against christian marriages and it is so sad to see how many homes have been broken as a result of so much foolishness. We, women whether we like it or not, God has given us the responsibility of building our homes, Our home/marriage is our first ministry.
When God created Man in the beginning He said it is not good for man to be alone, I will create a help, meet for him and then He said for this reason a man will leave his mother and father and cleave to his wife and they twain, shall become one flesh. hence, the institution of marriage was created. Gen 2:23-24 and through our marriage, we are suppose to serve God faithfully and wholeheartedly by being godly wives, godly parents, training our children up in the way of the Lord while also building ourselves up spiritually to be used by God in other areas. The reason why satan is seriously attacking the christian home is because the home is an extension of the church of Christ and so when that home is broken, the church becomes spiritually sick and the work of God is immobilized as well as church growth becomes hindered.
It is clear that one of satan's greatest or ultimate plan is to destroy God's divine plan for mankind by destroying the christian home and that is why the work of the woman in the marriage/home is very vital to God's plan and purpose for His church.
There are at least three ways that it is believed a wise woman can build her home and they are:
1. A wise woman must have the right attitude
2. A wise woman must speak the right words Proverbs 31:26, 21:9
3. A wise woman must set the right example( be a role model by words and actions).
Before we look at the above listed ways, let us first of all define the word " House" and then relate it with how its used in scripture.
"House" as defined by merriam-webster dictionary is a building that serves as living quarters for one or few families. It is a shelter or refuge of some sort.
However, according to Proverbs 14:1, Building a "House" here is referring to " the inhabitants i.e the family unit which comprises mostly of the husband, wife and children. It means a wise woman must invest her time, skills and resources given to her by God to take care of her home according to God's will and purpose.
1. A wise woman must have the right attitude
Having the right attitude means choosing to be optimistic and have a positive attitude at all times regardless of the circumstances you are facing at that time. You really know a woman who possesses the fruit of the Spirit when she is able to be at peace and is consistently joyful in the midst of trials.
In the midst of trials, a wise woman would always find a way to comfort and encourage her family with her positive attitude.
2. A wise woman must speak the right words
A wise woman builds her home by the words that she utters. In Proverbs 31:26, it states that "She opens her mouth with wisdom, and on her tongue is the law of kindness." I believe that if you can't say anything nice, it is better not to say anything at all. I hear cases of women, supposedly godly women, who cannot seem to utter a word of praise or encouragement to their husbands, its always nagging, complaining about everything he does, belittling the man every single day and since there is so much a person can take, what the man is seeking from his wife, he will now seek outside e.g secretary, associate, female friend, old girlfriend etc and at the end of the day who is to blame. It is a very unwise thing to do and as scripture states " A foolish woman plucketh her house down with her hands by engaging in such behavior. Solomon in Proverbs 21:9 pretty much sums it up, it states " It is better to dwell in a corner of the housetop, than with a brawling (conscientious) woman in a wide house.
Women, we need to watch the way we speak to our husbands and even our children, not just the words we speak but also the tone we use. Negative, abusive words hurt and destroy people, there is power in the tongue and words do have a lasting effect on people, whether postive or negative words.
My husband recently praised me for being a good wife, It caught me off guard and when i asked him where this was coming from, I mean he always tells me he loves me and everything but the way he praised me not once, but twice in a row, I had to say more than a "Thank you baby" and ask what's up?
He said he had been speaking to a couple of friends & colleagues who were complaining about how their wives were always unhappy about everything they did and were never appreciative or content with what their husbands did for them and then he now started thinking of me and was like 'wow' my wife is not like that at all", and it dawned on him that he has never really voiced his appreciation. He gave an example of if he buys me a gift no matter how small or gives me money for the upkeep of the home, no matter how little, I always say "Thank you"and showed genuine appreciation. I tell you, it really made me feel good, I never noticed it at all because I felt that His actions of love and kindness towards me was sufficient and that was his way of saying thank you for everything.
Women, let us endeavour to start praising and encouraging our husbands more for it makes a whole lot of difference in our relationships.
3. A wise woman must set the right example
A wise woman can greatly improve her marriage and her home by practicing what she preaches, not only should she teach & train her children in the way of the Lord, but she must always live by example, be one to emulate after. A woman who quarrels or fights with her husband in front of her children is not setting a good example. Children learn not only by what we teach them but also they are quick to copy what they see and so it is so important for us as women to be conscious of the presence of our children at all times.
We can also improve our marriage by obeying the instruction of Ephesians 5: 22a and 5:33b. Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. The Lord has made the Man our covering/head. He has given our husbands, the authority over us, while man is under the authority of Christ. We have to obey the laws and principles of God in order to have a successful marriage and home.
verse 33b" and the wife see that she reverence her husband". If you love your husband, you will not belittle or put him down, you will not disrespect him in any way, you will not go against his will but you will reverence him, respect and honor him through your actions and words.
We had a Woman of God minister in our local church this past Saturday, very powerful message. and she talked about being "submissive" and gave her testimony on how the Lord had to deal with her before she was finally able to completely submit to her husband. She stated how since the husband is the head of the wife and Christ has authority over the man and so any message from the Lord for the family goes through the Man and that is why it is important for wives to listen to their husbands as well as pray for their husband at all times for spiritual growth. If the husband says, honey I am not comfortable with this decision, let us not take it, and so then we should listen.. she stated that many times her husband had told her not to do something and she did it and suffered the consequences, the revelation did not come until one day the Holy Spirit ministered to her saying.."Listen to your husband" , if your husband is wrong, it is for the Lord to handle him and take action. We have done our part,as the wife by following the order or protocol of God to reverence and submit to him in order for God to answer our prayers which can also be hindered if we do not follow the order of God in relation to being submissive. Today, this woman of God have been married for about 20 years and she is enjoying her marriage everyday as a result of this change in her attitude.
My dear women, I admonish you to strive to become the "Wise Woman" . Let us be identified as women of wisdom by our husbands, children, everyone through our actions and words. Let us no longer give the enemy a foothold over our homes.
A wise woman can be known or identified by the home she keeps i.e A successful, God-fearing, confident and content husband and healthy, God-fearing, intelligent, and respectful children.
A wise woman is identified by her accomplishments in the home and outside the home. She strives to be disciplined, is productive, hardworking, prudent, hospitable, intelligent, loves the Lord and ready to serve Him at all times with her skills, spiritual gifts and her entire being.
Father, in the name of Jesus, I pray that you will give us the grace to become wise women who build our homes and let every daughter of zion whose marriage today have been destroyed out of foolishness be repaired and restored by you this day in Jesus name. Amen